Love Your Lady Parts

Ladies, it's time we went there. LADY PARTS! It is not a mystery that saddles aren't forgiving to the lady parts region. There are several things that you can do to make yourself feel unbelievably comfortable down there. For starters, you've made a big investment in your bike and probably got yourself something that cost a pretty penny. If the idea of spending more money on your bike for comfort doesn't sound appealing, you need to stop and rethink the purchase. Don't get me wrong, I'm a coupon clipping, deal hunting, savvy shopper, so when it comes to spending money, I'm hesitatant. I weigh the pros and cons, do a little math and if I can't justify it, then I don't buy. However, your lady parts are worth it! Would you rather be uncomfortable, wiggling in your chair all day at work because the va-jay-jay is all achy and sore from the previous night's ride? Don't even get me started on saddle sores. They can ruin you for days, weeks, maybe even months, making you not want to ride, or be uncomfortable that you are cutting your rides short.

So what do you do?

1. SADDLE UP. Spoil your va-jay-jay to a saddle that makes her smile. I can't stress this enough. A happy vagina is a riding vagina. Go to your local shop (www.hsbikes.com for those of you in Burbank, CA) and get a demo seat, ride and try and ride and try until you find the one that makes you feel like you are sitting on a fluffy marshmallow cloud. I went through two before I found my magical seat and my comfort while riding has taken on a whole new level. What'd I end up with? Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow saddle. Specifically designed for a woman's derriere. If you want to take it one step further, did you know you can actually get fitted for a saddle? Oh yes, apparently when you combine your physical stats (age, weight, height, gender), type of cycling you'll be doing, your INTERROCHANTERIC DISTANCE (ummm.... what?), thigh circumference (Oh HELLLL no - remember my saddle bag chub rub debacle from my last post???) and pelvis rotation, you are given a recommendation as to what will work best for you. Now, if you are die hard and have to do everything 110% percent, then sure, do it, but I think it's a little much for the everyday, casual rider. I think you will be just as successful taking several different models out for a test drive until you find one that FEELS OH SO GOOD.

2. SLIP INTO LYCRA WITH A CHAMOIS (sounds so fancy, right? Your vagina deserves one. TRUST ME). Get your tush and lady parts into a nice pair of cycling shorts with a chamois for all the lovely cushion. And for crying out loud! Leave the panties at home. My lycra of choice is Pearl Izumi's Women's ELITE Cycling Bib. In the beginning I was anti-bib. No reason other than I thought it looked completely ridiculous. I rocked my Pearl Izumi Sugar Shorts and LOVED them. They are great for the summer as they are shorty shorts and are a little forgiving with the ridiculous biker tan you are inevitably going to get. Mr. Handsome Pants (aka the bike shop owner turned boyfriend of mine) kept swearing that "Once you wear a bib, you will never go back.". Being the stubborn A-type that I can be, it took me 2 months to give in (I wanted to be right SO BAD. I'm always right, damn it). I was about to ride my bike 72-miles around Lake Tahoe for JDRF's Ride To Cure Type 1 Diabetes and he kept repeating that bibs are better for longer rides like these. So I caved, and as embarrassing as it was to admit it, I'll sing it from the sky, I WAS WRONG! Bibs are my new best friend! If I could run through a field of daisies in a white summer dress, holding my bib hand-in-hand I would. I am happier than a woman in a tampon commercial. Those ladies are freakishly HAPPY!

3. SMOTHER THE HOO-HA WITH HOO HA.  The most amazing product in cycling that I have been introduced to thus far is Hoo Ha Ride Glide. It's like deodorant in that if you don't put it on before your ride, odds are you are going to be riding alone at the back of the pack (not because your vagina stinks but because she hurts and is hindering your ability to be awesome). Squirt some of the Hoo Ha cream into your hands, rub it on your lady parts, and then rub the left over on the chamois. You'll be overcome with a nice cooling sensation that gives a little numb support and prevents chaffing. Again. Leave the panties at home! As weird to some as it may sound (I admit it, the first time I road my road bike wearing cycling shorts I had on a Victoria's Secret lacie thong and got called out for it). Panties get all tangled, bunched and rub all the wrong places. Don't risk the chaffing and damage down there. Be FREEEEEEE!

These are my 3 splurges that I consider more of a necessity now than a luxury.

Every Woman Needs A Jenny In Their Life

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. If it weren't for her I would probably still be riding alone. I got into the world of the road bike only knowing two other people who road: My Dad (apparently he does it all) and My Boss, Matt. Notice a theme here? Not that I didn't enjoy riding with them but I wanted to ride with someone I can gossip with and with someone who knows what it's like to have a female form (ie. boobs, thighs, and a voluptuous booty) that gets in the way. Anyone experience saddle bag chub rub yet? I get a pair of fancy new shorts maybe 2 months ago and they are wearing out on the inner right thigh because that damn chub is rubbing against my saddle bag! Grrr.... I promise you all, I WILL find a solution to this... but in the meantime. JENNY.

                                                                           Jubilant

                                                                           Expressive

                                                                           Nifty

                                                                           Noble

                                                                           Youthful

Jenny knows a lot about bikes. Way more than me, maybe even more than most guys (like they'd ever admit to that). She's taught me a few things about the bike and is always patient (or at least pretends to be and I thank her for that too). I'm slow, she waits, I'm tired, she gives me advice to get me through the climb.

We were on a weekend morning ladies ride over the summer and about 5 minutes after I finished blabbing about how I'd NEVER had a flat tire on my road bike, BOOM. Flat. Jenny to the rescue! If I was alone, let's face it, I probably would have played the Damsel In Distress card. That didn't happen on this day. Jenny jumped into action! We fought with the tire, I learned how to use CO2, we laughed hard, cursed little, and even made time for an impromptu photo shoot. We're kind of awesome like that.

Flat Master. We make it look good, despite my lack of photography skills.

Anyways, everyone needs a Jenny. She's motivated me to learn more, keep riding, challenge myself, kick ass and never quit! Who doesn't need that? When I ride with her, and the other ladies of the H&S Ladies group, I find myself pushing harder to do better, be fast, ride smarter. Without this motivation, what am I doing? Probably just spinning along, whistling away without a care. But let's be honest (speaking for myself here - I won't push if I don't have to because ME = LAZY), I won't get better any time soon riding the way I do when I am alone. I need healthy, female, competitive edge!

(FUN FACT-O, Jenny is super rad and amazing at other things too. Check out her website: graphikdeziner.com).

A Broken Shifter Changed My Life

Now remember that awesome blue SPECIALIZED ROCKHOPPER I was telling you about? It's my pride and joy. I know it's a basic bike, and I know I've outgrown it, but I can't bring myself to get rid of it! We've been through a lot!

Case in point... one of my first lunch time rides, my boss and I set out to climb the hills of Placerita Canyon. I was struggling like you won't believe. I kept thinking to myself... there is no way I am this out of shape. I chased my boss up the hill as fast as I could, mildly embarrassed with how long it took me to get there. Once I caught up with him, he looked at me sideways, and said, "Well no wonder you are having such a rough time, you climbed the hill in the hardest gear." I didn't know if I should have been proud or embarrassed. At least I wasn't as out of shape as I was beginning to think!

Running out of time, we headed back to the ranch (aka work). I called upon a co-worker, who knew a thing or two about bikes, and he took one look at it and told me my shifter was broken. Sad face! I just started riding my bike and it's already out of commission. Now, normally if something needed fixing I would call up ol' Dad and he would take care of it, but I knew it was time for me to start figuring all of this stuff out on my own. And I did. Yes!! My co-worker referred me to a sweet bike shop in Burbank called H&S Bicycles (check it out people... www.hsbikes.com). So I crammed my bike into the back seat of my car and headed over to H&S. Upon arriving, I was greeted by a vary handsome bike shop owner, Rob.

Long story short, I left with my mountain bike fixed, a sweet new road bike (with all the bells and whistles) and an amazing boyfriend. I think I did pretty good for myself!

The sweet new road bike

The handsome new boyfriend

We All Have To Start Somewhere

I was lazy. Simple as that.  I won't call myself an athlete, but when I actually put forth any sort of effort, I am not that bad. I'm uncoordinated but I manage.

It was sometime in January when I realized the scale was moving rapidly in the wrong direction. Work had a lot to do with that. How? I work in TV Production and if you've every been on a TV set, you've heard the word "Crafty". Oh crafty... every child's dream. A room full of candy, chips, baked goods  (bacon, egg and cheese breakfast burritos in my case), and everything your heart could yearn for. Oh, there were fruits and vegetables in there too but I swear they were hidden, or maybe I just wasn't looking for them.

Anyways, that dang scale. It was haunting me and I knew I needed to do something about it. My coworkers were feeling it too, so we started a friendly weight loss competition. Put me up against anyone and I will do what I can to destroy them in competition. That's how mountain biking came back into my life. I went over to my dad's house and pull my old 2000-and something blue SPECIALIZED ROCKHOPPER out of his garage and took it out for a spin. I hadn't been on that bike since finding out I was pregnant with my now 5 1/2 (that 1/2 means EVERYTHING - if you have kids, you get that) year old daughter. I was rusty, heck the bike was too. I knew that if I was going to take this seriously, then I would eventually clean her up or upgrade (which I eventually did but we will get to that later).

I do need to give a shout out to my Dad. He's the one that got me in to mountain biking and I really need to thank him for that. Being his only child (of 4: girls-3, boy-1) who had any interest in:

A) Riding a bike
B) Being seen in public with their father;

He went out and bought me that Rockhopper, got me all the gear, and dragged me out into the mountains to ride with him. I have to give him some credit. He beat me up the hill EVERY SINGLE TIME (#!&$). A few times I was convinced he didn't know what he was doing (like the time he "fixed" my flat at the top of the hill, only to have it blow out on the way down causing me to crash into a VERY prickly bush). But somehow together we survived and the first time I got back on that bike after a 5 year hiatus, it was like I never stopped, and that burning desire to beat him up the hill is stronger than ever - stay tuned... it will happen!

Back on the bike, riding dirty!

Eventually I broke down and bought a bike rack for my old Yaris. 

My daughter, though grown accustomed, was grateful.

What Are We All Doing Here?

I love riding bikes. Beach Cruiser, Road or Mountain bike, if it has two wheels, put me on it. So when I decided to take a serious interest in cycling, I came to one surprising realization. Where are the women? Where's all the product for the ladies? I don't like being told what to do, especially by a man. I want tips and how to's from a women's perspective. A guy can talk to me about saddles until he's blue in the face, but unless he's got a va-jay-jay... his advice is USELESS to me. 

My point being? I couldn't find enough resources out there to give me access to the information I was craving. Granted, there are a few good sites out there (big ups to www.teamestrogen.com)... but My Fair Ladies... we deserve it all!

So I hope you choose to tune in and follow me on this journey. The goal is to get the facts out, from a female perspective and toss in some awesome video tutorials/tips/reviews, etc. Together we are going to learn about these bikes discover the latest and greatest products for women, get comfortable and feel confident so that we can be strong and independent (Sassy and Gorgeous) Lady Pedalers!