Love Your Lady Parts

Ladies, it's time we went there. LADY PARTS! It is not a mystery that saddles aren't forgiving to the lady parts region. There are several things that you can do to make yourself feel unbelievably comfortable down there. For starters, you've made a big investment in your bike and probably got yourself something that cost a pretty penny. If the idea of spending more money on your bike for comfort doesn't sound appealing, you need to stop and rethink the purchase. Don't get me wrong, I'm a coupon clipping, deal hunting, savvy shopper, so when it comes to spending money, I'm hesitatant. I weigh the pros and cons, do a little math and if I can't justify it, then I don't buy. However, your lady parts are worth it! Would you rather be uncomfortable, wiggling in your chair all day at work because the va-jay-jay is all achy and sore from the previous night's ride? Don't even get me started on saddle sores. They can ruin you for days, weeks, maybe even months, making you not want to ride, or be uncomfortable that you are cutting your rides short.

So what do you do?

1. SADDLE UP. Spoil your va-jay-jay to a saddle that makes her smile. I can't stress this enough. A happy vagina is a riding vagina. Go to your local shop (www.hsbikes.com for those of you in Burbank, CA) and get a demo seat, ride and try and ride and try until you find the one that makes you feel like you are sitting on a fluffy marshmallow cloud. I went through two before I found my magical seat and my comfort while riding has taken on a whole new level. What'd I end up with? Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow saddle. Specifically designed for a woman's derriere. If you want to take it one step further, did you know you can actually get fitted for a saddle? Oh yes, apparently when you combine your physical stats (age, weight, height, gender), type of cycling you'll be doing, your INTERROCHANTERIC DISTANCE (ummm.... what?), thigh circumference (Oh HELLLL no - remember my saddle bag chub rub debacle from my last post???) and pelvis rotation, you are given a recommendation as to what will work best for you. Now, if you are die hard and have to do everything 110% percent, then sure, do it, but I think it's a little much for the everyday, casual rider. I think you will be just as successful taking several different models out for a test drive until you find one that FEELS OH SO GOOD.

2. SLIP INTO LYCRA WITH A CHAMOIS (sounds so fancy, right? Your vagina deserves one. TRUST ME). Get your tush and lady parts into a nice pair of cycling shorts with a chamois for all the lovely cushion. And for crying out loud! Leave the panties at home. My lycra of choice is Pearl Izumi's Women's ELITE Cycling Bib. In the beginning I was anti-bib. No reason other than I thought it looked completely ridiculous. I rocked my Pearl Izumi Sugar Shorts and LOVED them. They are great for the summer as they are shorty shorts and are a little forgiving with the ridiculous biker tan you are inevitably going to get. Mr. Handsome Pants (aka the bike shop owner turned boyfriend of mine) kept swearing that "Once you wear a bib, you will never go back.". Being the stubborn A-type that I can be, it took me 2 months to give in (I wanted to be right SO BAD. I'm always right, damn it). I was about to ride my bike 72-miles around Lake Tahoe for JDRF's Ride To Cure Type 1 Diabetes and he kept repeating that bibs are better for longer rides like these. So I caved, and as embarrassing as it was to admit it, I'll sing it from the sky, I WAS WRONG! Bibs are my new best friend! If I could run through a field of daisies in a white summer dress, holding my bib hand-in-hand I would. I am happier than a woman in a tampon commercial. Those ladies are freakishly HAPPY!

3. SMOTHER THE HOO-HA WITH HOO HA.  The most amazing product in cycling that I have been introduced to thus far is Hoo Ha Ride Glide. It's like deodorant in that if you don't put it on before your ride, odds are you are going to be riding alone at the back of the pack (not because your vagina stinks but because she hurts and is hindering your ability to be awesome). Squirt some of the Hoo Ha cream into your hands, rub it on your lady parts, and then rub the left over on the chamois. You'll be overcome with a nice cooling sensation that gives a little numb support and prevents chaffing. Again. Leave the panties at home! As weird to some as it may sound (I admit it, the first time I road my road bike wearing cycling shorts I had on a Victoria's Secret lacie thong and got called out for it). Panties get all tangled, bunched and rub all the wrong places. Don't risk the chaffing and damage down there. Be FREEEEEEE!

These are my 3 splurges that I consider more of a necessity now than a luxury.