“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” - Benjamin Franklin

Possibly. I'd like to think that I am good at a lot of things, yet I have been making more excuses lately than normal. I am good, but sometimes I wonder if I there is anything I am really, truly great at. Maybe that's where the excuses come to play.

I'm guilty. Guilty as charged. I was finally called on it today and it was something I knew I was doing but I found a way within myself to justify it, and eventually believed it was the truth. But it's not.

What's weighing me down? Racing. I want to race my bike, I do, but I know I am nowhere near where I need to be (by my standards) in order to compete successfully. I've heard it takes 3 solid years to develop yourself as a cyclist. I've been going at it hard for 2 months. That's it! I've been riding for a year but after a crash and long work hours, I wasn't able to give it my all. I want to be fast, I want to have the endurance and the ability to push through the pain. 

What's stopping me? 

Probably my pride and my ego. I've never thrown myself into something without the assurance that I was going to be good or great. I don't have that here. I know I will be dead last, not even fair, just straight poor. I know at some point I will throw up at the start line, during the race, or both. I know I will get lapped, and lapped, and lapped, and eventually pulled, if I haven't already given up on myself before the ref comes around. Why can't I accept that?

I have an amazing team of women, all new to the competitive aspect of the sport. Some have been riding hard for a year and are making amazing strides. I am so proud of these women! I wish I could fast forward and be right there with them. 

What's stopping me? 

I was raised that an A in school was good but an A+ would have been better. Why didn't I get an A+? 

How do I accept the truth, and dive in with both feet, knowing I will most likely walk away with a F, maybe a D if I am lucky? 

How do I accept the fact that I am not going to do as well as I want to until I put in the hours, days, weeks and months of training needed to earn that better time, to not get lapped 5 times, and to be able to stick with at least the chase pack?

How do I suck up my pride and throw myself to the wolves knowing that what I want won't happen, but that is okay, I have to start somewhere?

I know the answer is easy. Just get in there and do it. That's what I tell all the ladies who are interested in racing. I need to take my own advice.

The best way to learn is to do. Quit the excuses, make yourself vulnerable, embrace a last place finish or a DNF. Wear it proud and know that if you put in the work, the only place to go is up. 

So.... that's exactly what I am going to do.

I know these ladies will always have my back. Or in this case... my ass.

I Wanna Race My Bicycle!

This past Sunday, H&S Ladies debuted in their first race of the season at the Roger Millikan Crit. I was very sad (and jealous) that I couldn't be a part of it, but SO SO SO proud of the ladies. I've been on the bike twice in the past month and am recovering from a nasty cold. Didn't want to risk an injury so I sat it out (insert pouty face here).

Warming up. Damn! It was cold!

Anyways, so proud of my ladies! Everyone Needs a Jenny (one day after riding a century no less) and the amazing Tammy both raced, as well as two ladies new to the group. They all pushed hard and finished with smiles on their faces.  It was a great race with a pack of about 21 ladies (2 of whom I question...?). Although there were no "wins" for H&S, all the ladies raced well, and most important, FINISHED!

All smiles all the time.

I have always been a little skeptical about racing. I am a competitive person and I want to win! Knowing I am not physically prepared to take on a race at this time, I probably would have been the one throwing my bike in the grass out of frustration after coming in dead last. I know, I know... lame, childish, call it what you will but how do you deal with that emotion? I want to be better than I am. As a single parent working full time in television, it can be hard to find the time to get on the bike. I'm motivated but I don't have the skill. I struggle to find the time to ride, and to ride without having to be heavily hopped up on caffeine. I made it a goal this year to make riding a priority but so far I have failed. That ends today!

Who's with me? Stopping with the excuses here and buying a Costco size pack of Sugar Free Rebull. Let's keep on pedaling and do this!

Power baby!

Powerhouse Jen making a comeback.

Clearly she needs a little Jenny in her life.